Have you lost someone you love?
Literally lost, I mean it.
Those question might make you thinking about a couple person around you, or might be not.

I've just lost her a couple weeks ago, yeah July 26th, I've lost one of my best friend, and will never meet again,
literally.

She's died in young age, such a young age.
Really fast, no sign about it, really fast.
That fast so that right now I still don't believe that she has gone already.

Even though I know her for just about 5 years, it feels like I've been know her forever.
She's such a cheerful, kind and really fun person, with her around the ambiance would be so nice, fun and full of laugh.
She'll never show her sorrow, unless it's hurt her so much.
Yeah, as a close friend she will show and talk about her problems to me, at first it felt like, she was only talk and not really feel about it.
But then I realized, she did so because she'll never want to makes people to worry about her, such a strong girl, right?

That thing also happened right before her last day, last time she texted me that she was sick, and might not able to join us to hang out that weekend.
I thought that it was just a flu or kind of light sickness, so I didn't take that seriously, and worst I was fallen a sleep without saying good night to her.
Yes, I let her text hanging, I've just replied it once, then fallen a sleep. I let her in pain by herself.

The next morning I texted her, but there was no answer.
Then her father texted me that she was collapsed in the early morning.
Then her sister texted me that she was still collapsed.
I was worried that time, but never even think the worst thing would happen to her.

But it's happened.

In the evening, I remember that I was sat with my colleague,
I was wearing my pastel pink suede shoes,
It looks fit with my black trousers, even it's hurt me a little,
My phone notified me about a new message.
A message that told me, one of my best friend, the one that being my partner in crime, doing our internship, finishing our final assignment, having journey to find a job, was already gone,

Gone.

Forever.

I was shaking, I called her sister number,
To make sure that was just a lie,
Just a script to make me shock.

But it's not.

My tears fall, my colleges started questioning.
And I've just cried, shocked, shaking.
Pray to God that, that was wrong info.

Her sister told me that it was too late to bring her to hospital,
She collapsed because of heart attack,
That's what the doctor said.
It was too late.

The I remembered the last time we texted.
No good bye.
A huge regret appears.
I lost one of my best friend.
And last time we texted...
I wish I could, I wish I could..
Only that sentence that came out in my mind.

Now, all I can do is,
Remember her dreams,
Remember the way she talks,
Remember her,
but still,
Life must go on, remember her that's fine but moving on is a must.
Keep her in heart, my best friend ever.


In memory of Clara Nessya Andyta,
Passionate cheerful strong woman.
Best friend, the one who make the atmosphere warm and alive.
Be good over there,
Miss you so much, Dyta